‘Snow White’ Goes Dark

Snow White and the Huntsman:  2 ½ out of 5

Mirror Man: My queen, you have defied nature and robbed it of its fairest root. But on this day there is one more beautiful than you.
Queen Ravenna: Who is it?
Mirror Man: Snow White.

Given the visual wonderment seen throughout this darker take on the Snow White fairy tale, it is too bad there is not more to praise in other regards.  Snow White and the Huntsman is a fairly empty film that has plenty to show off on the outside, given the high budget and imaginations at work to create rich fantasy worlds, but practically nothing inside when it comes to showing off the characters involved or a story that makes more sense.  This would be less bothersome if the film was at least fun, but it has very little joy to share, instead keeping things quite grim throughout.  Despite good looking visuals and a good looking cast (in more ways than one), Snow White is more or less a bad apple.

‘Piranha’ Doubles The Ds And Lowers The Intelligence

Piranha 3DD:  1 out of 5

Maddy:  This is like one really expensive joke.

Well I did not think I would be writing a review that would come to the defense of Piranha 3D, but its god-awful sequel Piranha 3DD certainly necessitates some attempt to separate the two.  While one may scoff at the 2010 horror-remake, that film at least knew how to deliver on almost every level that it tried to.  Piranha 3DD fails spectacularly at being anything that resembles horror, comedy, sexy, or basic, intentional entertainment.  The film is only a step or two up from those terrible excuses for parody films (Meet the Spartans, Disaster Movie, etc.) and really requires the aid of some friends who want to equally try and make some good out of a film that is so bad.  Still, try as we did, nothing good came from what we saw, as Piranha 3DD only delivered one ‘D’, which stands for dumb.

The Payne Is Back: Max Payne 3 - Video Game Review

Max Payne 3:  4 ½ out of 5

Max Payne:  I now had a hole in my second favorite drinking arm.

I enjoy my fair share of video games.   I have also been incredibly busy for the last month.   Still, I did manage to find time to play and finish Max Payne 3, the latest entry in Rockstar’s hybrid Noir-John Woo infused shooter series.   It has been a long time since I was able to jump into the shoes of the rogue cop with a murdered family, grief to deal with, and unlimited ammo for his dual pistols, but I was happy that unlike the terrible 2008 film adaptation starring Mark Walhberg, this return to the Max Payne universe was well worth it.   As of late, many games I tend to play in installments, with lots of gaps in between me picking up the controller again.   Max Payne 3 fell into the category of games that I could not stop playing, which is a credit to its quality and reason enough for me to put in my two cents about it.

Out Now with Aaron and Abe: Episode 58 – Men In Black 3

This week’s episode of Out Now with Aaron and Abe has the gang discussing the first ‘Big Willie Weekend’ in quite some time.  Will Smith has returned to the summer movie fold with Men in Black 3 and guests Mawell Hadadd, Jose Cordova, and Mark Hobin join Aaron and Abe in talking about their thoughts on the film.  The regular segments are here as well, including “Know Everbody”, “Trailer Talk” (Skyfall and The Great Gatsby), “Movie Callback”, Box Office results, and some games and other fun stuff.  Lots of guests, lots of movie talk, and the episode even has Will Smith theme songs, unlike Men In Black 3.

So now, if you’ve got an hour to kill…

Behold The Outdoor Majesty Of ‘Moonrise Kingdom’

Moonrise Kingdom: 4 out of 5

Sam:  What kind of bird are you?

Just to get it out of the way, I am a big fan of writer/director Wes Anderson’s work (Rushmore, The Royal Tenembaums, Fantastic Mr. Fox, etc.) and was already inclined to enjoy his latest film.  The fact that I really enjoyed Moonrise Kingdom does not come from a bias however; it comes from recognizing a well-made feature that is full great things, which includes warmth, whimsy, and affecting moments.  Anderson’s idiosyncratic filmmaking sensibilities have served him well here, providing a film that should play well to more than just the audience that already enjoys his films.  It is the sense of innocence that is wrapped up inside a film that is frequently humorous and always alive with visual details that makes it a film worth seeking out.

‘Men In Black’ In Time

Men In Black 3:  3 ½ out of 5

Agent K:  I promised you the secrets of the universe, nothing more.
Agent J:  Well…what other secrets are there?

Everyone nod you heads, because the black suits have come back.  Still protecting the earth from the scum of the universe, the Men In Black have returned, but most importantly, they have redeemed themselves with an enjoyable third entry that gets better as it goes along.  It has been a while since the last ‘Big Willie Weekend’, but Will Smith and everyone involved have managed to come up with a film that outshines its overblown production troubles.  A lot of the same wit and humor that made the first film so enjoyable is present here, along with the strong makeup/effects work that has been present throughout the series.  While it does take some time to really get going, the strong finish is what truly makes Men In Black 3 a worthwhile summer sci-fi comedy.

Out Now with Aaron and Abe: Episode 57 - Battleship

This week’s episode of Out Now with Aaron and Abe seems like it has been nearly a year in the making.  While I cannot pinpoint the exact moment Aaron, Abe, Jordan Grout, and Alan Aguilera all realized that they were dying to see Battleship, the time has finally arrived for them to review it.  The results are…interesting.  Aside from that, the boys also have fun with all the regular segments, including “Know Everybody”, Trailer Talk (Argo and This is 40), Box Office Talk, “Movie Callback”, and some new games! Which includes one that is entirely not true.  Plenty of other shenanigans ensue throughout this episode, which the boys once named as the spiritual successor to their Transformers 3 episode, so please take a listen.

So now, if you’ve got an hour to kill…

 

‘Battleship’: The Most Explosive Board Game Of The Year

Battleship:  2 ½ out of 5

Old Navy Guy:  They’re not gonna sink this battleship!

The trickiest thing about writing a review for Battleship, the film based on the popular board game, which now pits Tim Riggins of Mars against a fleet of aliens that challenge the Navy to deadly war games…or something, is capturing why I did not really care for the film as much as I did  other, similar films.  It is a loud, $200 million, alien invasion flick, with lots of stuff that goes boom throughout its 2-hour runtime.  It is perfectly suitable for the summertime, yet I did not have that much fun as I would have liked with it.  Having recently seen New York get toppled (The Avengers), Chicago get blasted (Transformers: Dark of the Moon), and Los Angeles become a blown out war zone (Battle: LA), I think I am just a little tired of this.  Battleship does not attempt to do anything new with this kind of film and aside from having a higher appreciation for the military, director Peter Berg does little to make this film really stand ahead of Michael “Boom Boom” Bay’s alien robot adventures.  Battleship is less a terrible film and more a film that seems to be hitting me at a point where its type fatigues me.

‘The Dictator’ Seizes Comedy, Whether You Like It Or Not

The Dictator:  2 ½ out of 5

Aladeen:  Ahh…America, built by the blacks and ruled by the Chinese.

I am really looking forward to seeing Sacha Baron Cohen tackle more serious and dramatic work.  I saw a hint of it in Hugo and, as is generally the case, comedic actors seem work just as well in a dramatic environment.  I start out this way because I like Sacha Baron Cohen in general, but the movies that involve him trying being as offensive as possible do little for me.  I chuckle at them, sometimes I laugh much harder, but when they finish, I am fine enough with what I saw and have no real desire to watch the film again.  I have seen Borat once; I have seen Bruno once; and now I have seen The Dictator, but I do not really have any real lingering thoughts about any of these films that make me want to reflect on these crazy characters that Cohen has played (with vigorous and committed enthusiasm).  Chances are people will generally enjoy this movie more than Bruno, but I am basically indifferent.

Out Now with Aaron and Abe: Episode 56 – Dark Shadows

This week’s episode of Out Now with Aaron and Abe takes a step back into the campy direction of a cult classic soap opera.  Adam Gentry (and, briefly, a very special guest) join Aaron and Abe to discuss the new Tim Burton/Johnny Depp film, Dark Shadows, a theatrical remake of the old TV series of the same name.  Is this strangely fitting for a Mother’s Day episode?  Maybe.  Still, the gang does get a chance to go over a couple new trailers (Gangster Squad and The Campaign), as well as participate in the regular segments, including “Know Everybody”, “Movie Callback”, Box Office results, and the return of one of the older games.  Plenty of supernatural goodness this week to enjoy.

So now, if you’ve got an hour to kill…